> someone says something I find relatable

That's a key point. You're seeing things you find interesting as opportunities to add to the conversation. Flip this around, try to look for things that others would find interesting.

Try to observe how groups interact - unless someone is exceptionally important (leader, famous or very charismatic person) people just chatter in short chunks, exchanging low stakes, often meaningless, remarks, as well as lots of laughs, little jokes, noises like ehrm, oooh, uhm, without anyone getting much of an opportunity to convey anything significant. That's just how group interaction works on average.

If you lower your expectations and focus on just maintaining a fun and positive interaction with the group, you'll be less frustrated, more confident, and maybe you'll also find it easier to get a message across in the rare case where it's really worth it.

If consistently having meaningful information-dense interactions is very important to you, you may want to focus on finding groups that prioritize this sort of interaction. They are really quite rare, but look for meetups of like-minded people who want to have a deep discussion of a specific topic, for example.

When we interject with relatable stories, it can often appear to the listener that we are taking what they just said and turning into a narrative about ourselves. Defeating this takes practice, since the good intention is not necessarily to talk about yourself, but to signal that you understand what the speaker is sharing.

The easiest way I have found to avoid this is by asking questions, instead of telling my own story, but basing my questions on my experience. To use your travel example, if someone is telling you a story about a place you have been to, ask them what they thought about a specific attraction you have also visited without mentioning you visited it, giving them the opportunity to continue sharing rather than turning the spotlight on your experience. I that moment, it's about them.

Some things that helped me:

- I grew a beared that accentuated my jawline

- When people would begin to interrupt me, I would continue on with my sentence regardless of them speaking, and I would finish my sentence. I would be prepared to let it get a little awkward if they don’t get the hint at first

- Talking a lot more helped. Since having a baby, I talk to her all the time. I sing and talk loudly and energetically to her to make her laugh. I make up a wide array of characters with voices. This has changed the tone of my voice in that it is now deeper, less strained, and more powerful. I have noticed a difference in my confidence talking to people and how they listen to me.

- I noticed a difference in my interactions just after doing Yoga or meditation. Conversation is often about energy, and yoga or meditation can get you more attuned to giving the right amount.

- I noticed the less I cared the easier it got. I make sure that I am respectful and acknowledging of people, I am open and receptive to connecting with the right people, but it’s not my mission to be entertaining or interesting to others.

- If I feel like I am giving a lot more to the other person/people in the interactions, I start to look elsewhere for people that are more reciprocal with their interactions.

- I tried reading books on charisma, small talk, How to Win Friends and Influence People, etc. I don’t think any of this actually had much impact or it didn’t resonate with me. IMO, going to the gym is probably going to have a lot more impact to get people to listen to you than what books can offer.

Another great thing for me is to shift the focus on to the person you're speaking with, even in a group. People love to talk about themselves. Ask them honest, thoughtful questions about what they're talking about. Don't over indulge them, but everyone is equal in this world, and hearing them out on things leads to a healthy discourse.

One final tip and this is important, if they talk about a trip to the Bahamas or whatever and you then feel the urge to bring up your similar trip to the Bahamas, maybe don't. Instead of hearing their point of view, you're making the conversation about you immediately and people don't like that. You can hold that thought and bring it up later in the conversation, organically.